Nearly all of us are guilty of exhibiting self-destructive behaviors. It’s strange to realize you've ruined the very thing you were working so hard to build up. But realize this: Most self-sabotage is the result of fear. It can be the fear of failing, of succeeding, or of having to perform tasks that make us uncomfortable.
You may have heard the saying, “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.” Unfortunately, most of us are well-practiced in the art of avoiding discomfort. And, as luck would have it, that's the most common way we sabotage our success.
Sabotaging your success? Check out this list to see if you fit the bill:
You welcome distractions when you should be working. The stuff that needs to be done in order to be successful is typically WAY less appealing than watching TV, playing on Facebook, or hanging with family and friends. There are so many ways to distract ourselves, and honestly, most of the time we welcome them. And here's the worst part: the urge to seek out distractions increases with the unpleasantness of the task.
Here's a solution: Allow yourself distractions, but control when, and for how long you engage in them. You might give yourself 15 minutes to browse social media after three hours of work. Or, try to limit your distractions to the evening after your work is done for the day.
Procrastination always seems to sneak in. You keep putting off what you know you need to do because you either don't want to do it or you are subconsciously afraid of what will happen if you do. Usually procrastination is rooted in fear. Isn't that weird? We know what we need to do, but we don't do it because of some perceived outcome. The self-sabotage game is real, folks.
Here's a solution: Be clear on what needs to be done and why, then focus on getting started. This is usually the hardest part. If you need to, make it a game. Use a timer and see how much you can accomplish in 30 minutes.
Making decisions makes you head for the hills. Indecisiveness is a huge success killer. When you can’t make up your mind, any progress you've made or hope to make comes to a complete stop. You might be afraid that you are going to do something incorrectly. You may be worried about what other people will think. But here's the thing... if you wait until you have all the wisdom or everyone's approval to make the perfect choice, you WILL be waiting a long time. You have to pull the trigger and move forward. #DOITAFRAID
Here's a solution: Give yourself a "decision deadline". A time when a certain decision has to be made--or else. If you can't follow through on your own, ask a friend or family member to hold you accountable and report your decision to them. Be sure they aren't going to judge you--that'll keep you from being honest with yourself and ain't nobody got time for that.
You allow negative thoughts to take over. For many people, negative thoughts double and/or triple the closer they get to success. You may be afraid that things can go wrong, now that you have a little bit to lose. You may wonder how you are going to keep your success up. You think people will see you differently.
Here's a solution: Take control of your mind and try to focus only on the thoughts that are actually useful to you. Take stock in what you have done that is positive and think about that. Cheer yourself on rather than being your own worst critic.
Your easy tasks always get done, but then you don't have the energy to do the hard ones. This is probably one of your biggest mistakes. And don't worry, most of us do it. The most important tasks are usually the least enjoyable or take up the most energy, so we avoid them. We tackle the easier tasks which makes us feel like we're making progress. Spoiler alert: We're not.
Here's a solution: Have a list of tasks to do each day and order them from most important to least. Start at the top of your list and work your way down.
Quitting looks like the only thing you'd actually be good at. Friends, this is the ultimate way to sabotage your success. You truly can’t achieve anything if you quit. Most people quit right before success. Remember: It's always darkest before the dawn.
Here's a solution: Develop the habit of finishing what you start. Avoid caving in to the fear that crops up and tells you that you could never be successful. The most successful people have failed countless times, but they keep getting right back up and starting over. Remember that you can always try again, regardless of the outcome.
Let's face it... self-sabotage stinks. But the good news is that you have the power to keep it at bay. The person responsible for your life is that amazing person that stares back at you in the mirror each morning.
Keep these tips in mind as you go through your day, and soon you’ll find yourself enjoying your successes instead of keeping them from happening in the first place!